Wow, what a rollercoaster ride the last seven weeks has been! COVID-19 became a new and very real thing in our world.
For me, it began with shock and fear: what will this look like? Will our family lose our income, will we get sick – and why is everyone hoarding toilet paper?!
How uncomfortable do I feel not stepping into a hug …. and when will I see this person again?
As I walked away from the Gateway building, knowing this would be the last time I would be there for an undetermined time, I cried.
A ‘New Normal’
As life settled into our ‘new normal’, I slowed my pace accordingly and enjoyed such a peaceful, joyous time in my new rhythm.
I had time for work, unhurried time with God, for study, for myself without the rushing in and out of the car.
I was in the moment, present. Not thinking obsessively about my schedule for the rest of the day, week or month. How freeing!
Another ‘New Normal’
I began to feel guilty about my enjoyment of the restrictions as I realised others weren’t experiencing this; in fact, they were struggling with the lack of liberty and contact with others.
Most recently I’ve struggled with my new schedule: more screen meetings than I anticipated and the tech challenges of those along with phone calls to make that I don’t want to overlook: how are my family and friends really doing? And. am I being effective – people aren’t responding as readily as I expected?
Where has my time gone to sit quietly and happily, slowly tackling my backlog of home renos?
I became a bit overwhelmed and struggled with concentration and sleep as I worried about keeping my list of people to contact and tasks to do current.
Finding Peace
But as He always does, when I cried out to Him in frustration and confusion, God answered me simply and quietly. “Stop, talk to Me, put aside the distractions.”
And just like that, it was back! Peace, the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
The whirlwind of activity of trying to organise and take control, ceased as He reminded me to let Him drive my thoughts and actions.
Pastor Naomi said today: “let’s love them back to life”. I feel God wants that for all of us.
For those who know Him, to know Him deeper. For those who are curious to find Him, and for those who are hurting or doubting too, to feel the certainty and fullness of His love.
I anticipate more of these moments as I face walls of uncertainty. I know that if I’m sensitive to God’s Spirit, prompting and guiding me, I will recognise – and negotiate – them sooner.
